Tuesday, December 17, 2013

VUT 64k Race Recap

Good grief. I don't feel especially creative this morning, but I've waited long enough to jot down some damn thing about the Vulcano Ultra Trail. Seeing as the Internet has long since fried my brain and whittled down my attention span to about 2 seconds...let's do an unordered list of random thoughts/sentence fragments:

-Had to finish an ultra in 2013, finished Vulcano Ultra Trail. Wonderful.
-Took longer than my worst 50 miler to go 40 miles.
-Was not fit, but did not realize the depths of unfitness in which I currently dwell
-Perhaps the best race in Chile in terms of location, difficulty, organization
-In thinking about the TNF 80k DNF that I had in October and without trying to make any broad generalizations for/against DNFing...I will say that, for me, that DNF really fucked up the ebb and flow of running for me. I should have just hiked the fucker to the end and then rested, got back to running like normal after a race. Lesson learned.
-Such a good weekend. Puerto Varas is awesome.
-Every race should have an official post-race after-party at a bar.
-Misery loves company. And beards. Lesson re-learned when I was contemplating dropping out and Canadian beard-master Jason Wright came up the trail. I told him I felt like shit and wanted to drop and he said "Screw that. Let's grind this out." Thanks, dude. Hopefully I returned the favor later in the race when his legs/hips started cramping so badly that he couldn't reach his shoe laces to tie them. He said "I might be done at this point." to which I replied, using all of my creativity and inspiration-giving ability: "Nah." We finished together in bromantic triumph. His girlfriend Emily finished just behind us and placed 3rd overall for the ladies. Powerful.


The current bossjogg line-up. L to R: Matias, Bear Gay, Diego, Daniel, Moises, Max

The start of the race was a few k's of flat sandy trail, heading towards the volcano. A few of the bossjogging boys and I ran together for a bit, but then Max and I moved up towards the lead group, where Moises was already putting in a bid for a podium finish. Everyone went hard as shit in the beginning and, awesomely, most of those guys kept hammering for the rest of the day.

Sunrise on the way up. The first part of the volcano was covered in the softest moss/dirt stuff I have ever run on. It was like jogging up a giant, firm mattress. It was incredible. I wanted to lay down and sleep on it so badly. Speaking of which, I only sleep about 4 hours a night now. Edison used to do that, right? 


Post-race party.

Feelin' the vibe.

Daniel's report. 3rd place in the 30k.
Max's report. 5th place in 60k.
Moises's report. 12th in 60k. (He came through halfway in 3rd, going strong, but had some wicked cramping. Cramping was a theme from this race. Volcano-induced, clearly.)

Even if you ain't read Spanish, the pics are nice for the lookin'.

This morning I signed up for the reborn Desafío de Senderos de los Volcanes next February (They didn't put on the race in 2013). I did this race in 2012 with my buddy Quim from Spain. Here's the report from two years ago. It's weird to look back even just two years and see how I used to give weekly training updates. Was that interesting? Maybe I should do that again?

It's cool to think that it'll be my 3rd volcano-themed race. 

It's cool to think that I've lived here for over 2.5 years. The idea of returning to the States next year is actually starting to scare the hell out of me. I hadn't anticipated that, but...

If you can watch that without feeling nauseous, you're clearly ready for more Vo2-max workouts.

That's it for now.

Sunday, November 24, 2013

Kim Kar400yardDashian's Volcanoes' Milk

How am I doing right now?

At this point, Truest Believerest, we both know that you can tell how I'm doing just by casting a wandering eye at the freakish mishmash of words, nonsense, and apos'trop'he's thrusting up from the title of this post. A sorry excuse for writing! Who is this asshole? Or whose asshole is this? Both viable questions and they will be answered in dude time.  

Let's be honest. There's no way I can wrestle this post safely back into the realm of goodness, sanity, and gluten-free/verbiage-free elocution. But, I mean, Jesus, if your diet isn't verbiage free by now, how are you even still LIVING, LET ALONE JOGGING? 

I mean Jesus! But sometimes you mean, too! COMMAS! 

After the 50-miler DNF, I felt lost. Depressed. Confused. Horny. Introspective. Dangerous bedfellows, to be sure. The following weekend I hoped I could gain some sort of clarity by at least finishing a race that I started. So I went with a 5K (better safe than sorry!). In all denim, for whatever reason. 18:41 (the denim adds at least 1:30 to your 5K, FYI). 

But after 3.1 miles of denim-induced chafing, then applying lotion to chafed areas, and then preemptively applying lotion to certain other areas multiple times (and at high velocity), I was still not sure what I was supposed to do with my running life. Sometimes, though, upon reaching an impasse life suddenly presents you with a sign. For me, this sign came in the form of a never-refrigerated, cardboard box full of life-affirming whole milk.

I was udderly speechless. The answer was so obvious to me now! Register for THE VULCANO ULTRA TRAIL 60K!   Perhaps a bit of milchmädchenrechnung? Hahaha, where the fuck did some German come from? I can't even speak that word. LOOK AT THAT THING! HOLY MOLY! Hahaha, fuck it. I'm drunk.

But I dye grass. I'm fully psyched beyond stoke about this race. Just look where it's gonna be at, FOOLZ$!

We goan go round dat muthafuckkka!!! WOO!

Given the nature of the course and the powerful competition I will face, one thing is clear: I'm going to need more (a Whole lot more) rigorous physical conditioning. I'm going to need to fill my soul and body appropriately, that is to say, with mountains, milk, and some powerful/focused "ego"-stroking.


Thanks, Kanye, you coked-out nutcase. Your timing could not have been better. Also, to be accurate: Daniel's racing the 30K option and I don't know what Matias is up to. Moises and Max are in the 60K, though. So that'll be rad.

But despite some halfway decent training and tons of soul-st(r)oking, I really wanted some science to back me up and confirm: Yes, Patty-boy, you're on the right track. So, I did what any good runner would do and entered a bunch of data into Jack Daniels' new Strava app for my iPhone...check out where I'm at!

Heh heh heh. I think I jumped the goddamn shark with that one, True-Blue Believer-You. If you didn't think I was unbalanced before, I'm sure you do now! (Check out this transition) And speaking of unbalanced: Why the fuck do I always fall on the same side of my body? My left knee is seriously getting pissed off with me. Look at this:

Starting at the righthand side of the photo: 1) Fresh pink scarring/scabbing/swelling from last weekend. 2) Old scar just below knee cap. 3) Darker scarring from fall in June. 4) Some cuts from thorns, I think. Also, my left hand is always fucked up with cuts, scraps, little rocks stuck in the skin, etc.

Weird right? I mean, I always-always fall on my left side. I also tend to develop heel/Achilles problems on that leg, but I tend to get hip/hamstring problems in my right leg. Well...I think it's pretty clear that I now have some imbalances that are both mental AND physical. HOORAY!

Ok, I'm done. That's all I've got for you, dear. If you're up top, I hope your fall/winter is OKEEDOKEE and if you're down here, I already know that your spring/summer is awesome because HOLY SHIT IT HAS BEEN HOT AS FUCK LATELY! I love it. Love it.

As always, take what I say with a grain of salt, True Believer. And a never-refrigerated cardboard box full of whole milk.

I love you! 

Monday, November 11, 2013

The next-best timed sport.

Sorry for the several posts that are just links. I'll try to actually write something in the next week or so. Who am I talking to?


Future champion of Competitive Plane Disembarking.

GODDAMN IT! SOMEONE ALREADY SNAPPED UP www.iPlaneDisembarkFast.com !!!

adios, retirement.

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Halloween Speed Intervals

Give'em all of your Hell, True Believer. It's Halloween. It's all you can do.

Friday, October 25, 2013

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

RTD: TNF 80K Report in pictures

RTD = retirado = DNF

So, I filled my bottles with beers and hiked the course offering free drinks. Check out this guy who went for it...

 Now, see how happy he is! Check out that drunk in the background!

So, yeah. Not super pleased about the DNF. It was mostly mental, although the 6 times I shit burning hot diarrhea in the first 90 minutes also played into the decision.

Fuck running.
Long live running.

Monday, October 7, 2013

Anita Baker ran 2:44 for the marathon in 1988!?

Nah. I guess not. But she did get played on the radio this morning while riding the bus to work. What in the hell is a Chilean bus driver doing jamming out to Anita Baker at 7:30 on a Monday morning? Being awesome, apparently.

Ah, Monday.

Monday. Polishing the revolver.

Got me two weeks until the...(deep breath)

The North Face Endurance Challenge 80K (50 Miler) Santiago, Chile 2013


Wait. Wait. Nevermind. I'm exhausted after typing the title of the race. I'm going to take a nap under my desk.

Yawn. Stretch.

So, let's do a quick rundown of 2013. This post is 100% something just for me to be able to re-read next year. Skip this one. It won't have a single sex joke or drug reference. BORING!


First thing:

January and February (summer in Chile) were both months of nice, coasting-along training. I was basically just enjoying the fitness I had built during the lead-up to my first 100-miler last December. I did some fun runs with friends in January, a lot of track workouts, because I lived next door to a track and then in February had a giant week of running in Argentina while staying with a lady friend there. All of this was just running because I was having a lot of fun while running. No goals. No purpose. Just vibin' and fuckin' diggin' it and shit, man.

The rest of February was spent with my mom, dad, and brother who visited for two weeks. I had about a week in between their visit and the start of my 2013 contract, which I spent lightly jogging and heavily drinking.

I decided to make the TNF 50 miler in Chile my GOAL for 2013. I mean, I've run the race twice now, but I wanted to FUCKIN' KILL IT this year. So, yeah. Big plans.

Starting in March, I cleaned up my act and my stoke was 100% blazing. I'M GONNA FUCKIN' KILL THAT TNF 50 MILER!!! BUT! I wanted to be smart. So, in March I put in about 5 hours/week, all quality stuff. Track workouts, hill sprints, etc. Nothing long. Nothing slow. No crazy brutal mountain days, just a lot of key sessions, well-executed. The volume would come. Did a bunch of core work. Lifted weights. Got strong.

April/May/June, I averaged about 12 hours/week of training. This consisted of very early morning runs, lunchtime jogs and then evening runs followed by spinning class as cross training (usually some weights or core work after). The weekends were spent in the mountains or around the city in the hills, doing my long stuff. In my mind, the really useful combo during this period was the evening runs which were about an hour long and then I'd go straight into the spinning class (perfectly timed, of course). This was a lot like when I used to do aerobics in Michigan (do you remember that little confession, True Believer? Jesus. Aerobics?). Back then, I'd run for 1.5-2 hours and then do an hour of aerobics directly afterward. This year, the evening run would be what I'd call a tempo effort, as in, pretty hard and then the spinning class would just be sheer white-hot, teeth-grinding horror.

The results? In June, my capacity for hurting was very high and my wholly unquenchable stoke led me to race a cross country 6K, an xc 4K, a road 5K, and two trail races (21K and 33K) in about a 5 week period. I know this is not a lot of racing for some dudes, but I don't do the "training race" thing very well. I killed myself in every single one of those races, top 10 for all of them and a PR for 5K. I also ran my best times for my local test-piece runs.

However, after the final trail race (the 33K), I was feeling a little peckish. The raging bonfire of my stoke had suddenly been reduced to a tiny pile of embers. The following weekend I basically pissed on the ashes by meeting up with some buddies for a too-long, too-hard effort. I swear, I could feel something just give out in my head. Like a blown fuse or something. It was winter in Chile and shit was heinously fucked.

I tried to keep things together, but after two weeks of extremely half-hearted jogging (still putting in about 9 hours each week), my knee revolted against the entire program and I was left barely able to ride a bicycle. Great.

Three weeks went by while I lifted weights and rode my bike as much as I could force myself to ride my bike. On the fourth week (and final week of July), I went to the U.S. of A. The warming love that radiates from my favorite country (not to mention it's summertime heat), combined with the unbelievably delicious beer, helped recuperate my knee and I made my triumphant return to jogging after about a month of no running.

I came back to Chile feebly striking the last soggy match I had, hoping to rekindle some of the enthusiasm I had during the beginning of the year. Slowly (Oh so slowly!), it started coming around. I had a couple solid weeks. I still didn't feel great. A little tired and little like I was going through the motions, but I didn't feel bad either and I was happy my knee was back in action.

Then, the week before going to San Pedro for 6 days to train with Daniel, I got really sick (see previous post). I couldn't eat or drink anything for about two days and I took the entire week off from any sort of physical activity. This plan worked for the best and I arrived in San Pedro healthy again, if not particularly running fit.

That week was good. I really needed to have my ass kicked around a bit. It also helped bring things back into focus after sort of forgetting my BIG GOAL for 2013. Since then, I've had two, 10-hour weeks. The big difference now, as opposed to April for example, is that I'm not running as many times per week. Gone are the extra lunchtime sessions and I'm not waking up at 4:30am everyday to run and certainly no more triples. Last week, I actually took three days off completely, but still put in 10 hours of running.

The plan has been to feel FUCKING AWESOME each time I go for a run. Simple, right? Not just because that means I run better on the day, but because right now my Stoke (capital "s") is all that matters.

These final weeks are much less about suddenly becoming 10 times fitter, I think I'm already pretty fit. What I want to do is have several weeks of good feelings. I want my memories of all my runs from this period to be positive. The weather is getting better. I'm avoiding my boss more. I'm now down to my lowest weight of the year (68 kg = 150 lbs) and my times for all of my test-piece runs are almost as fast as April again.

So, that's where I'm at physically. Just got to keep the good ju-ju flowing.

Second thing:

This is without a doubt the longest and hardest I have focused on any one race. Actually, this is the first time I've EVER "focused" on a race...the experience has been a mixed bag. On one hand, it's cool. It's fun to train and to have a clear goal in my mind. On the other hand, sometimes I felt like running wasn't "running" anymore. It wasn't a release or an outlet for my stress. A way to feel healthy and happy. Sometimes, a run would feel like Work (capital "w"). Perhaps, True Believer, you recall my sentiments regarding Work. In short: Fuck Work.

So, that's been complicated. Do I want to focus and dedicated myself to a single race again? I don't know right now. For one, it remains to be seen how I do in the 80K. I'm hoping to run faster this year than last year, although I think that it's very likely I'll finish out of the top 10.

If that happens, the reason will be a positive one I think: Chilean runners are faster than they were last year. Just ask Max (who won the Patagonia International Marathon's 42K category last week). Or Moises (who doesn't have a blog). Or Matias. Just in looking over the times from last month's K42 race...if I had run my 2012 time there, I would not have made the top 10. Last year, I was 4th. The fact is: The steadily growing Chilean MUT scene is maturing and has now produced a large crop of fast, strong runners. Which is fucking awesome. See: Boss Jogging link on the sidebar for further evidence of this UNADULTERATED RADNESS.

So, yeah. Whew. That killed almost an hour out of my workday! YES!

Last thing:

I'm still planning to move back to the U.S. in early 2014. I don't know where. I don't know what I'll do...but...it feels like the right decision. I miss the States and I want to run races there. Simple.

Here's a very short video from last weekend. Good back-to-back long runs and my big toe's nail finally jumped ship. Good riddance. No room for quitters on this rig.

Monday, September 23, 2013

Actual running update! High desert "training camp!"

Before we begin, True Believer, I want you to make extra-sure that you're buckled in nice and tight to your Internet Surfing Cockpit. Are your shoulder harnesses cinched down securely? They are? Good. Is the chin-strap on your helmet snug (but not too snug)? It is? Great.

Well, if every leather strap is strapped and every nylon-webbing belt is belted, then we can begin...

The reason for all this security and protection is that I'm about to blow your mind with my very first ACTUAL POST ABOUT RUNNING AND TRAINING (in about 2 years).

I just finished up what is known as a training "block" with consummate pro Daniel Rowland up in the dry heights of Chile's Atacama desert. A training block, for those of you who don't know, is where you literally produce a block-like form by running in a tight, rectangular loop for... about 50 or 60 hours, depending on the firmness of the terrain. Eventually, the result is a "block" that has been very slowly carved into the surface of the earth. Obviously, it can take longer to produce this "block" if you're on pavement...years, in fact. That's why most people choose to do their training blocks in snow. Or, sand, if there's no snow. As Marlon Brando reminded us: In many situations warm butter is also ideal, including a training block.

Did you read that? Wow. I'm so sorry. Seriously. I'll apologize to your face, one day. I swear this to you, True Believer.

Anyway, we went up to the desert to run for a week (I say up, because I'm at sea level and the Atacama starts at about 7,800 ft.). The first two days (ok, three days), I was sucking wind like I was trying my best to win a wind sucking competition. I think I did pretty well. Unless, some sort of Michael Jordan of wind sucking had jumped in at the last minute, I'm sure I would have won the World Championship of Sucking Wind. (I'm talking early 90's 3-peat Jordan, obviously).

It occurs to me, that there is almost certainly a World Championship of Sucking Dick. A quick Google search reveals that there is, indeed, although much like Major League Baseball, the championship seems limited to the U.S. If my national pride swelled any further, I'd have to change my pants.

What in the fuck am I talking about? Good grief is it difficult to focus!

Probably because I'm so damn tired after a 100 mile week (with about 90 of those in the desert).

So, I learned a lot this week.

1.) If I'm at 7,800 feet, it takes a while before I can breathe while jogging. I know this isn't high to most of you mountain people, but for me...I may as well have been running loops on Mount Everest.

2.) Daniel Rowland has more discipline, focus, and fitness in just one of his very fast feet than I possess in my entire being. Not only did he arrive fit, fast, and with his tiger's eye gleaming, but he also went into the training block practicing his nutrition for an upcoming stage race. His dinner each night, I swear to God, was a PIECE of a protein bar about the size of a 9V battery.


You know who else would call that dinner? A war camp prisoner.

Lot's of hot trail action. I mean, lot's of hot AND trail action. Plus, epic clouds.

Our water intake for the 6 days. Add in a couple liters of not-pictured Sprite Zero and I count about 45L

This wouldn't be one my blog posts if it didn't feature a video. This one, I think, captures the vibe of the tiny town of San Pedro as well as the running conditions. It's a quickie, too. No attention span needed.

Last point. I've had a bumpy 5 weeks of training amidst basically a year of solid, very quality training. Unfortunately, those bumpy 5 weeks led right up to this week in San Pedro. Thanks to Daniel's optimism and just a really killer week of running, I feel like all is not lost for the The North Face 50 Miler in 4 weeks. I'm going to focus now on one or two more key hill sessions, some speed work and try to lose another kilogram or two of weight off this body. Obviously, I have no idea who will be at the race, but I'm hoping to improve on my 9th place from last year...or at least certainly improve on my time.

That's it. No more writing for "write" now. A little clean joke for all of the fundamentalist Christians that read my blog.

God is dead.

Friday, September 13, 2013

Magic Moldering in Silkworms' Skirt Slats

So many good links you (probably) haven't seen! I am making a post of these links because they are what keeps me going when I'm hideously hungover and begging God to make an example of me for all you sinners out there.*



The last sentence of this post is so beautiful. One nice aspect of the Internet is that people don't think too hard about what they write, and we get to read it anyway. One horrible aspect of the Internet is that people don't think too hard about what they write, and we end up reading it anyway. (Case in point: This blog. Sorry.)



 Yes, I'm aware that this is a friend of mine...but do you know anyone else who's doing something like this? Even if you disregard the awesomeness of two generations of family planning on running a giant event together (while living on multiple continents)...well, the updates on the real day-to-day reality of running in Africa by his dad are amazing. Bring a powerful headlamp because thugs shatter streetlights in order to mug you. Oh...so your aid station ran out of fresh watermelon? hahaha! Also, Daniel's blog is the realistically the best resource for stage-racing on the internet. Dig in, my fellow nerds.



 Another friend of mine just pulled off YET ANOTHER mammoth week: 21.5 hours and 28,000 ft. of vert. I KNOW it's in Spanish but seriously if you're not following Max's blog you're missing out on such a high level of stoke and...c'mon, don't all USAians like to say they understand Spanish at this point? Here's your chance to practice it!


Four is my lucky number. It has been ever since I was born with some sort of weird OCD. I spent most of my time in elementary school tapping the legs of my desk with my shoe in "1-2-3-4" repetitions. I also still bite my fingernails in repeating "4 corner" patterns. I'll draw you a picture of what that means if you're interested.


My knee is fine. I have a gift for both developing AND treating injury. Let me know if you want the details on knee tendonitis, but the bottom line is: Lots of lifting weights and lots of alcohol.

*I say that with so much love in my heart. I hope you know that, True Believer. Your sins are OK with me. Sin on.

Tomorrow, I leave for the high desert to go training for 6 days with D-Rowdy. I don't feel fit or particularly ready. I've had a horrible throat infection for the past week and have spent most of my time crying as I attempt to swallow juice and sweating out a very persistent fever (yes, i tried more cowbell. nothing).

So anyway, we'll see how it goes. I'm still psyched to have a week off of work (google "dieciocho chile") and I can just run and hang out with a buddy and feel stoked about life.

You guys are all awesome out there. Marriages, kids, great beards (but not on the kids...yet), good running, just all around awesomeness. I know you may not feel like it everyday, but let me tell you: That shit sometimes cuts through the layers of intoxication and I think "whoa, jogging is OK."

So, keep up the good fight! And as my grandfather would say (without citing the original author)

Here's a song to go along with it!

Kill every fucking fascist you see! ...Unless they're single and looking for a bearded teacher living in Chile!


Saturday, September 7, 2013

Mixtapes. Good for running, but not about running. End transmission.

When I was in the U.S. in July, my uncle told me about a mixtape he and his buddies had made back when they were teenagers. They spent one of the best weeks of their lives on an island, with ONLY this single mixtape. I like these kinds of stories, so anyway: The origin of the tape was that they had all gotten stoned in a friend's basement and spliced together some tunes, some Animal House movie clips, some clips of them being stoned, some choice quotes amongst best friends, etc. The mixtape cassette, however, has disappeared and my uncle was asking me how easy it may or may not be to recreate the original mix, but digitally.

Normally, I would say "no" to putting together someone else's nostalgia-inspired mixtape, but the story behind the mix and then my uncle's playlist that he jotted down from memory (it's below) was funny and weird enough that I decided to give the project a whirl. Please enjoy these mixes so much.

Where I couldn't find or reproduce the original audio, I made some changes. Hopefully, the updates will not only breath some fresh air into the mix but won't wreck the overall good vibes. Otherwise, I tried to stay completely true to my uncle's list and descriptions.

Side A:
Intro to Saturday night live (partial)
Animal House “Helenic Council Mtg” aka “prelaw, pre-med… what’s the difference”
David Bowie – Young American
Animal House – Louie Louie
Animal House – Twisting the Night Away
A Dog Bark – Random…probably Tess
I Could Be Happy – Altered Images
Soul Man – Blues Brothers
Matt & Chris getting stoned (impossible to duplicate)
Institutionalized – Suicidal Tendencies
Little bit of Soul - Ramones
I Don’t Have to Jump – Jerry Lewis (not even sure how to find this soundclip…)
Great Balls of Fire – Jerry lee Lewis
Mr. Thoughtful with a 12 roses – Animal House
Matt & Chris getting more stoned
That’s Life – James Brown version
The Bird – The Trashmen
Hawaii 5-0 – The Ventures
Aint to proud to beg – Temps
Blue Moon - Marcels (partial)
Sitting in Limbo – Jimmy Cliff
Swan, Swan, Hummingbird – REM
“evil fraternity clip’ – Animal house
I Am Superman – REM

Side B:
Wipeout – Surfaris
Grab a Brew – Animal House
Walk, Don’t Run – Ventures
Sweet Transexual – Rocky horror
Dance this mess around – B52’s
Fawn Leibowitz – Animal House
Tequila – The Champs
Green Onions – Booker T and the MG’s
Bitchin’ Camaro – The Dead Milkmen
Tim Forderer quote – “Totally willing to jam on whatever project” (can’t duplicate)
Up All Night – The Boomtown Rats (partial)
Black Rat Swing – Cephas & Wiggins – Original was Memphis Minnie
Blues from the lowlands song that I can’t identify… delta style blues??
Are you Ready to go - Reggae – UB 40??
Legal Tender - B52’s
Whamy Kiss - B52’s (partial)
Blackbird – Beatles
Whamy Kiss – B52’s
Madame Butterfly – Malcom McClaren
Mandy Peperidge , Message Your Thighs! – Animal House
All Right - David Bowie
I came here to be inspired by the great painters???
In this generation - Monkees??

50’s music from scene with Mrs Wormer – Animal House

Side A

Side B

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Submission to Chilean Trail Running Film Festival

...my exuberant use of caps in the title of this blog post may indicate...

...that i need to grow up.

...make something of my life.

...make something out of nothing.

...nothing from nothing is nothing.

...but you've got to have something.

...if you wanna be with me.

Monday, August 26, 2013

Another drunken email about running, I think.

Here's an email I sent to my brother and some friends last weekend. Running's good again. No worries there. I just don't like blogging right now. Sin más wevaa:

" so, i'm sitting here on a saturday afternoon. in my room. i went for a run with no plan. which is fine but i just wasn't in it. i cut things a bit short, came home, and now i'm having some whiskey and enjoying that much more than running. ebb and flow. 

i was watching the 10th episode of breaking bad's 5th season. if i wrote that in Bible chapters it'd be 5:10. it's funny that if you write anything in Bible chapters it comes out looking like time. Huh.

i stopped watching 5:10 because i suddenly remembered a dream i had several months ago. i was in a suburban house. no frame of reference for it. it wasn't based on anything. the best dreams have no basis in reality. so yeah, this one was off the map, in terms of references and bases.

it was nighttime and summery. the dream didn't feel like there was any day. like time didn't pass. it was only night and warm. i was with two people. a girl and a boy, i think. we were in our early 20's or so, it felt like. and we left this suburban house and went into the backyard. it was a grassy slope, fenceless and there was this very tall and dark forest behind the house that drops further and further down this slope. the lights of the house, like the outdoor lights, lit up the periphery of the forest but...you know...the light didn't go aaaallll the way in. such is life with impenetrably dark dream forests.

so, we walk down the slope and into the forest. we can still see the house and the lights from the house are casting long shadows through the forest. we are walking around a big tree stump when we see a baby bear. we're really happy about seeing the baby bear and there's this feeling of love and goodness. i have a camera and i take photos of my two friends with the baby bear. it's very cuddly and we are petting it and taking photos. the baby bear doesn't have bear paws but human hands. but that isn't odd in the dream. 

as we're holding the baby bear and it's playing with us and us with it, we see the mother bear coming up from below us. remember that this whole forest is on a slope. so, we see the mother coming up, out of the forest and it's clearly a bad deal. we are panicking and the mother bear is rushing at us now. we're still near this big stump and we're sort of doing that thing where we circle around the stump trying to keep the mother bear on the other side. so there's like glimpses of the mother bear, as i look around the stump to see which way she's coming. then i dart around the stump, trying to protect myself. 

there's this image of wolves now. in the dream. like i start seeing in my mind, a bunch of wolves in the forest. my perspective in the dream switches between "me" darting around the stump, horrified of the mother bear, and the perspective of many wolves, deeper in the forest, watching the mother bear and "me" circle around the stump. there's also these old feelings/images of wolves in general. just like wolves living in the forest and running together.

so, when my perspective is back as "me" behind the stump, i suddenly realize that i'm a wolf. the boy and girl are gone. i can still see the house. i'm still very afraid and panicking. still circling around the stump desperately, but i'm now a wolf. not a human anymore.

i start running away from the stump, and the mother bear is chasing me now. i'm running down the slope, deeper into the forest. the lights of the house get dimmer, are further away, and the forest is darker and darker. and i'm running faster and faster. the hill slants more and more steeply downwards and i'm running and my legs, my paws, are not able to keep up with the how steep the slope has become, but it doesn't matter because now i'm just free falling into a vertical forest. it's darker and darker until it's totally black and i'm falling through empty blackness until i wake up, sweating and gasping for breath. 

that's it, guys! have a great saturday! "


No, it wasn't the end, though. Quick pic.

Dad, brother, and I running during my U.S. vacation almost a month ago. God, it's been a while since I've clackity-clackity'd on this fucking blug! 

I'll never leave you, Truest Bluest Believer! I think about you day and night. It's only right.

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Video of Highly Realistic Simulated Beard Models!


"highly realistic simulated beard models?" ...hahahahahahahaha!

this article is too much, man. i laughed so hard while reading it that i actually shot whiskey out of my nose. which felt like awesome.

but then also like horrible hell.

i still haven't cleaned the tears from my beard.

got out to the mountains today for the first time in too long. my knee is still not better. but i don't care. mutiny will not be tolerated aboard this ship.

it's a short vid! i swear! plus you get to see how i look once i've run out of contact lenses! bonus feature!

two more days. back to the States. which will be great. but let me take a moment to thank the nation of Chile for giving me a holiday today in honor of the Virgen del Carmen.

She'd just be called "Carmen" if she had met me...

...i keep forgetting that i don't have any contact lenses and i've grown this beard and that means i no longer can even begin to hope for any random play at the bars. let alone from religous-holiday-worthy babes (judging from a painting i saw near a church the other day).

Saturday, July 13, 2013

Future Plans. High Races

Done! Twice before breakfast!

The quote from the linked article below was the original inspiration for this post. But me being me, I couldn't resist a good masturbation joke. Did I mention that I'm 30 fuckin' years old now?


"I love my bike because I’m trying to learn how to love myself. That’s the truth. Drink to that."

One more week of fixing my knee and then (hopefully) back to jogging. Love me some jogging. 

Some stuff:

Back to the States in 5 days.

About 12 weeks until the TNF Chile 50 miler.

New race in Chile this year. Think I'll go. Looks good:

Vulcano Ultra Trail 2013 - Episodio 1 from Vulcano Ultra Trail on Vimeo.

Actually, there's another new race in Chile this year. But, to me, Andes Infernal is really more of a stunt. It's a 60k ultra with 17,700 ft of gain, which supposedly would make it the race with the most elevation change per kilometer in the world (aside from Vertical K races). Also, it summits Cerro El Plomo, which tops out at over 17,000 ft. above sea level. I'm no expert on altitude...but isn't rapidly ascending to 17,000 ft. sort of dangerous?

With Hardrock wrapping up today and thinking about altitude and my natural inclination towards being a pussy: I don't think that a race as high as this Andes Infernal sounds like fun at all. I suppose if I had the time to acclimate and train up high for a few months before hand, I might consider it...

...which leads me to ramble incoherently about something that's been sticking in my mind lately. I don't know what to think about this hypoxic tent business that's suddenly very much in trail/mountain running. It sort of rubs me the wrong way. 

...speaking of rubbing me...

3rd time's a charm, right?

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

"I Like Beer"

"...this little song is more to the point."

To be fair, I have no issue with champagne/whiskey/vodka, etc.

But, man...I fucking love beer.


But, woman...I fucking love beer.

The last thing I've ever been is gender-biased.

Friday, July 5, 2013

In the mean. Time.

...end of the semester woes. Just one more week of madness and then I'm headed back to the States for a week! I haven't had much time to work on my nerdy little running projects. I'm hoping this weekend to catch up. My knee is giving me some shit so I may find myself with extra time and energy for the next couple days. 

Turned 30 last Monday. 11 hours at the office and then in bed by 9:30pm. How did I suddenly age 10 years in 6 months? 

Great great stuff over at the Chile  blog:


Hope your U.S. summer is hot and bothered...or your Chilean winter is wet and wild!

Saturday, June 15, 2013

My Best Video Yet, Seriously.

I'm slowly learning to trim the fat from these "Man Goes Up A Mountain" videos.

 It's harder than it sounds. While you enjoy the video and the obnoxious background music, I will also post below the email I sent to Daniel about my run when I was hideously drunk. He's a good friend and he puts up with shit like that.

Also, I sent some Lavish Stoke podcast questions around to more friends and to some elite runners that I don't know at all...I have yet to hear back on any of the emails, but...hope abounds! You can check out the critically-acclaimed Lavish Stoke 2 on the sidebar of my blog. It's downloadable. I don't make no money from this. It just gives me something to do when I take long bus trips in Chile. Which I do almost every weekend.

If you want to contribute, record yourself answering the following questions:

1.) Desert island question: If you could only run one route for the rest of your life, what route would it be and why (please keep it within a day's outing. no answers like "Appalachian Trail" or something)

2.) If you were actually a pair of running shoes, what shoes would you be and why? You don't have to name brands (unless you want to), but would you have a stiff, lugged sole? Or perhaps a soft, sock-like interior? 

3.) What is the most disgusting food you have ever consumed during a run/race? What is the most delicious?

4.) If you had to get tattoo of another runner's face tattoo'd on your body, who would it be and why?

5.) What pizza (and toppings) best represents your style of running? 

Email chain with Dan:

yes, cool article also. no, the idea is we'll do the race on saturday to avoid conflicting directly with K0's race on sunday. i'm not sure how much a race it is or isn't, hahahah, but i swear i'm bringing prizes with me and i swear i'm asking if i can sleep on your futon friday and saturday night! i'm sorry to continue to infringe, but with emma gone...i'm homeless in santiago!

today was one of the most enjoyable days i've ever had in the mountains. i'm about to post an epic-stoke video to youtube this evening (with absolutely over-the-top music) ...but on a deep level, it was one of those days where you really feel yourself...like in the world. as a human. and happy. and just. yeah. it was so excellent.

and i'm really really drunk right now so i'm going to type the rest of the story to you, just because i have nothing else to do and it seems like fun.

i saw the weather forecast was going to be dodgy for today. rain in talca. rain in the pre-cordillera and temps that suggested snow anywhere above vilches alto. but, i love days like that because the mountains always look so good, so yeah...plus, it was a burn out week for me. i felt low running-wise. work-wise. etc. i just thought "you know, what's the worst that could happen? you always come back from the mountains happier than when you left, so just go and fuck the forecast."

so i went.

i was all weird and pissy on the bus. i didn't want anyone to sit by me. i hated whatever music i picked on my mp3 player. the weather got so so so much colder as we went up to the mountains and i was just like "fuuuuuck this." i arrive and maria's not there. she took the weekend off. i had to go to the other lady's place. which is fine. and then...she makes me some coffee. and it has so much sugar in it. and i'm changing clothes in her tiny bathroom. and the coffee is really hot. and my stomach loves it. and its too sweet for me. but i really like it. and it isn't making me feel like i have to take a shit. its just making my whole body warm. and she's got a lazy eye. and we're talking about snow. and how there are cycles of snow. there used to be a lot in vilches alto. the ozone layer. the climate change. the world. the cycles. its coming back though, you know? the snow will come back. the coffee seems to be unable to cool down, but i seem unable to stop drinking it. and i'm all dressed in my running stuff and she's hidden away my backpack. promised to guard it for me until i come back. be careful, she says! and i say of course of course! 

it's 9:45am. I woke up with nightmares at 5am. 

so, i start the long slow jog up the "official trail" route. that's the one we ran down the first time. the wide, jeep road. and i'm climbing great. i mean, i'm not "killing it." but i don't want to. it just isn't hard to run up the trail. my pack is pretty heavy. i have some water. both cameras. some extra stuff just for training weight...the tripod. a pack of zucogo. but it doesn't feel too heavy. i'm not breathing too hard.

i see javiera, one of the conaf guards, in a conaf truck "hey pato! have a good run!"  "thank, javi! cool sunglasses!"

I get to the administration building in 15 minutes, which is quick for that route. don fernando is there. we talk only for two minutes. it's good to see each other. we give a quick hug. "patricio did you buy the season pass yet?"   "no don fernando, i didn't have time still! i'm working so much!" "well, i don't have change for your 10 lucas so you better just get going! hahaha!"   "thanks, don fernando! i'll see you later!"

and i take off. my legs feel even better. i mean. this is just not even a workout day. after a lot of tough weeks i was just looking for an "escape run" sort of thing. relax. slog. be in the mountains. no goals.

i decide on whim to try to find the north summit of Peine. when you and i went up that cerro, we went up the standard southern route and then crossed beneath the southern summit. Peine actually has 2 legit summits. and the northern one, supposedly, is the "true" summit being that it's literally a few meters higher than the one we crossed beneath on our way down to the laguna.

so i run the standard trail until it forks and starts the climb up to the "enladrillado/laguna" intersection ridge (we ran by it, but low. where it was grassy and i said i didn't drink the water because of horseback groups). i begin the trail up and of course its very steep, switch-backed and tech. not as rocky or stepped as the route we did up peine, but similar. and i keep running. it just doesn't feel that bad. i mean, i'm breathing and my pack feels heavy. but...its ok. 

so i run up until i get out of the forest. remember how the trail we did sort of "breaks open" and then there's no more trees? just rock and stuff? this trail does the same but even more dramatically.

without even thinking, i leave the trail and start hiking/climbing straight towards a ridgeline i don't really know, but it looks like it goes towards Peine north. after some good, heavy hiking and about 7 or 8 legit climbing moves, i'm on a mellow snowy ridge, running again. i can see Descabezado to my left and the entire Maule valley to my right. the mountains to the north are literally glittering, because as the storm has moved in, where i'm at has clouded over heavily, but the north is still clear and you can see the sun hitting the snow on the peaks east of Curicó. it's amazing. the snow is perfect. it had clearly thawed, melted, frozen and then thawed just enough for today that i could run on it without slipping AND without punching through to my thigh. i could just run across it without worries.

so i continue on this ridge until it connects with the ridge that leads directly to the peine north summit. at this point, i'm walking (carefully) along a narrow ridge made of rocks that are sort of like giant chunks of sidewalk stacked randomly on top of each other. one side is more of this sharp, knifey rock and the other side is a nearly sheer drop to laguna del alto. and there's no wind. i just have to step carefully. it's not dangerous. it just feels so good. i can see the summit. i can the valley. i can see the laguna. there's a bit of talus hiking. a bit of down climbing. it doesn't matter. i'm just putting my hands and feet on rock. on snow. looking around. the wind has picked up. i don't really feel it. the windbreaker i brought is just enough. the cheap cotton mittens i have are just enough. i don't feel thirsty. i'm not hungry. i brought a granola bar. it was just enough. i'm just moving steadily along this ridge with my eyes locked on the completely benign and gentile summit of peine north.

and then i'm there.

and i'm taking some pictures. i shoot a long video talking to my dad. it will be his father's day "card." i miss him a lot. i can still see the sun to the north. i can see everything. the andes. the valley. the laguna. the volcano i climbed with Quim last year. the trail you and i ran together a few months ago when it was hot. i can see basically every inch of every bit of cordillera i have explored since i moved to chile. and i don't yell. or cry. or jump up and down. it just feels very right and i feel only like i'm alive and i have no questions about anything. i'm just looking at the world and it seems to be looking back at me.

which is funny, because just as i'm freezing my ass off and ready to get the hell down, i see a group of people on the southern summit! daniel, i have never known anyone other than myself and quim who have actually bothered to scramble the southern summit of peine. as i told you when we ran together that day, there is no point. the view is not better. the summit is not prominent. it is a vague pile of talus and is utterly boring. 

however, on this weird day, i see a group of 4 or 5 people all on the summit. waving to me! i wave back and i think we both took pictures of each other. i have no idea how we'll ever communicate, but...it was a coincidence that only added a special touch to an already surreal and magical day.

the descent? i glissaded mostly for the first third. then some rocky, technical jogging, finished with the same bit of trail you and i finished with. i ate a giant sandwich and drank a giant beer. i got on the bus and i was so tired, drunk, feeling so odd and then immediately this song came on my mp3 player randomly after i turned it on:

and i lost it. i mean. i don't know what to say. i started weeping. on the bus. i put on my sunglasses and pulled my hat and hood down and just sat there. crying so hard. and the bus was really loud and there was only one guy in the seat ahead and to the left of me. he was looking out the window. he didn't notice. but there i was. thinking of my life. the mountains. my dad. the world. it was as if every moment and experience of the past year had suddenly decided to re-emerge and intersect at that instant, in my mind and in my life. 

powerful shit, to say the least. 

good thing i took up jogging as a hobby. otherwise what the fuck would i be doing right now?



Also, who titles their blog post "My Best Video Yet, Seriously" ...ahahahaha, I'm such a cocksucker. 

Also, if you actually read that whole email: here's the video i made for my dad! hahaha, i love that guy so much! 

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Trail Putaendo 33K - 4th overall

The inaugural Trail Putaendo 33k was an unmitigated success!

Profile for the race! The whole thing was good times, but check out that last mile! WEEEEE!
A couple guys' GPS had the total gain at 5,000ft.

Here's Max, me and Moises at the start. Looking like we're in a dream. I felt like I was in a dream, as I had decided to go through a flask of bourbon and 5 beers the night before and was not...well, I was not thinking clearly, yet.

Here, I was thinking very clearly. Clearly, thinking "This hurts so badly much! Where is my flask!?"

Final stretch. Paved. 800m. I actually had to stop and walk for about 10 seconds, talking to myself. "Patrick, just keep going. This is insane. Don't stop now. People are chasing you." But I had NOTHING left. I mean, I've never been so fully spent in a race EVER. I was destroyed.

I knew beer was soon. So, smiles abounded. 

"So, tell the world: How does it feel to be the highest place finisher who also has the highest BAC?"

Moises and I bro-ing out. We battled so hard at the end.

Moises in front. You can see me in the background with my two black bags of special treats.

Max, shirtless and finished, but he was not in good shape. Sick. Dehydrated. Bad vibes.

But then I opened some special treats and we all felt better! Matias had just finished, looking and feeling like the burgeoning champ that he is!

 And look! I even made it to a podium! I won my category for "Most Hideous Alcoholic Who Still Pretends that His Daily Exercise is Something More than just a Stupid Hobby"

I also placed 4th overall, 3:22:00 and about 5 minutes behind our resident Chilean professionals. So, I was happy about that. I was unhappy about how I ran the uphills. But fuck it. I'm at the office and this makes me even more unhappy than some shitty uphill jog-walking.

One love. One heart. Let's get together and drink ourselves blind.


Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Scrambling Video: La Giganta

After the 33K race, the next day Max Keith and I set out to run/scramble his favorite local: La Giganta. A bit over 1,000m and lots of ridge-line scrumble action. Very fun outing.

Be sure to check out the side bar for podcast Lavish Stoke 2! My God!

Also, if you want to be included in Ep. 3, please send voice recordings of funny/cool/interesting running stories to me at pthurber(at)gmail.com.   If you tell me you want to be anonymous, I can either read the text of the story or just not include your name anywhere near the credits, hahahaa....not that I did with anyone from podcast 2.

The race report from last Saturday is coming soon. Hold your frothing horses, you midnight cowboys.

Lavish Stoke ep. 2

Here's the second episode of the Lavish Stoke podcast! This installment features stories/interviews with various friends ranging from Chile to Germany to NYC to Chicago. Overall, it's pretty funny and the music is fucking awesome (obviously).

If you would like to contribute to Lavish Stoke, please send me a voice recording of an interesting running story to pthurber(at)gmail.com. If you want, you can tell me you'd prefer to be anonymous and you can send me text which I'll read and be sure not to give away your identity. But, if the story's really good...I mean, wouldn't you want to be given credit??? 

If it matters to you at all in the year 2013, the word "fuck" is used occasionally during this podcast. Notice that I've included links to the first podcast and to the BossJogging website on the sidebar under "Special Delights."

Sunday, June 2, 2013

Salomon 4Trails 21K and shoe gossip

First trail race since December! Holy shit, has it been that long?

Arrived with seconds to spare. Here's Daniel and I getting help from Matias. We literally jogged from the car, put on the bibs and started the race all within about 2 minutes. 

Some of the good, rooty parts that were mixed in with a lot of fast, smooth trail. Thanks to Matias for the awesome shots.

Here's my ass, literally, going upwards. Thanks to Salomon...for making really expensive shoes.

Finishing (or just "finished") Kick.
Check out the gangster, "one sock up/one sock down."
Thanks, Vanessa for the photos and constant awesomeness! 

 Boss Jogging crew

Beards in bloom. Daniel's got his winning eye on set on this beast next October.

Thanks again to Matias for filming. Literally, the trail/mountain racing scene in Chile would not exist as a "scene" if it weren't for his hard work. He's at every race. Every training run. Knows everyone. 

This vid captures me towards the last 3K. I had just been passed and was not having that shit. I was doing everything I could to get that guy back. And I did. So, that's good and very nice and now I'm going to bed.

The official results will be up in the next day or so. I think I came in at about my usual standing, 5th or 6th (UPDATE: 5th place). The plus side is that I think I was only a few minutes behind the winner. So...for me...and all this horrible training I've been doing, I feel like this is a good indicator that I'm on the right track. During the race, I definitely felt like I was controlling the pace and effort of the racers around me more than vice versa. I could run uphill stronger than ever before and no one that I ran with (runners in 4th-8th) could run downhill faster than me by a long shot. So... there's some inspiration to be drawn from this race.
...Mostly, that I need to stop fucking around and being lazy and...when I have free time, I should think to myself..."Why the fuck do I have free time? Go train."

This blog post ruins every sentiment I just tried to convey. 

Did you know they sell Jim Beam in little bottles that fit perfectly into your coat's chest pocket and if you use a straw, you can drink it from under your collar on the bus and no one will know?

Now you do. 

Sleep well, True Believer. There is nothing in the world you aren't allowed to experience.



I also picked up a pair of these...

...which supposedly won't come out for a few more months? But we have them in Chile right now. ....the adios zero...whatever the last versions were, were amongst the two best shoes I've ever owned. The Nike Lunaracer 2's being my all-time favorite.

I love you so much. I miss you so much. I love you. I'll always love you.