Monday, March 18, 2013

Minimalist shoes cause cancer!

My God, True Believer, how long has it been since we've had one of our treasured, fire-side chats? I suppose, in this instance, the fire-side hearth could be just as readily swapped for the warming glow of a laptop screen, illuminating your beautiful face as you pull the covers up and over your head. That, True Believer, is how I can only assume you enjoy this blog. Maybe drunk, too.

Things have been Top o' the Pops. TP. Tee-pee. Squaws. A little Indian brave. Is THIS Indian brave? Even just a little? Love has come into my life, on the severe wings of a giant feathered Indian head-dress, and it has left just as readily in a puff of peace-pipe smoke.

I have no idea what I'm talking about. Let me turn and put a little more beer (read: whiskey) into my glass (read: flower vase with protruding straw). That is to say: Let me get serious with you, True Believer.

I have never been a fan of work. I hate it, actually. I know that many people would have you believe that you have to find what you love and do THAT for your living. This way, they claim, you really aren't working at all. You're Doing What You Love. But you see, therein lies the pile of bull's shit: If what you do earns money, then it's Work (capital "w") and, as it is now officially Work, I will hate the fuck out of it equally.

That's the duality of man or something. Or the frosting on the cake you have and eat, too. Oh no. I have no idea what I'm talking about again. BOTTLE! COME!

Haha, that never works...

But "Bottle" would be a good name for a dog.


So, what I'm getting at is this: After Chilean summer vacation, I'm now fully back at work, 12 hour days at the office, wishing I were deader than the proverbial door's nail. HOWEVER, I realized, as I was showering at the gym after sneaking in a 1 hour tempo run during my unpaid, obligatory lunchbreak...I realized that I'm actually THANKFUL for the limitations that work places on me. I need work to give shape to my day and provide a necessary foil, against which I can rail, wail and (ultimately) prevail. So, while I will always be impressed by dudes who train super hard with crazy work hours and raising a family, etc. ...I also know the dark truth, now. People like them need those constraints. In the same way that millennia of crushing pressure transforms coal into diamonds (Or just Superman's fist. Anyone else remember that movie? Fantastic. I knew you would.) this same way, the pressures of work, love, family, etc. also serve to turn your raw carbon lazy-ass into a glistening, eternal diamond.

An eternal diamond that can run like a motherfucker.

"Eternal diamond" would not be quite as good a name for a dog. Know why? No ring.

I love you, True Believer, and I want you to know that I'm still here, running a shitload and doing my best to turn the parts of me that are black and combustible into something clear, cold and eternal.

Did you know that I write almost all of these posts as stream-of-consciousness? Haha, that's why they're completely garbage! It's mostly out of laziness, but when it goes well...ha, gosh, look who I'm talking to! True Believer, you never doubted.

Sorry for this post. Here's a video of my run last weekend. Met a goat-herder. Goat shepherd? That doesn't make any sense if you break it apart.


Lucho said...

Fucking awesome. I've never had a bucket list but if I did... the first thing on it would be to get shit faced and run with you.

RUNssel said...

You NEED to write a book bro. Another classic post. Adore them.

P. said...

Hey! That there is a fantastic idea! Truly, thanks for that compliment! I promise I'm insanely boring in person, but I certainly haven't been bullshitting about the amount of beer and running that I do. Markus, before the book, I'm going to launch my recovery popsicles company. Thanks for the encouragement and I think we should plan to run either TransRockies or TransAlpine. D-Rowdy has me thinking hard about a stage race.

jameson said...


Lucho said...

Let me know if you do Transrockies! I have a spare bedroom and a newly started shuttle service where I just charge beer.

GZ said...

Watch out for Lucho. The last guy who took up his offer for a room for beer was never seen from again.

RUNssel said...

@P Diddy: TAR this year for me. TransRockies next year? Would be a fun outing.

But what about El Cruce. Keep it tight and local. I'm all game for that.

We need to plan!

Max Keith said...

ahahaha weon. que risa el video. yyyy weon? que pasa con la carrera en abril o quizas mayo? ya tengo ganas de competir

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P. said...

Thanks so much, Kim! Was it the extensive use of the word "fuck" or my frequent references to gleeful alcohol abuse that inspired you? Ah, silly me! Of course, it was both! I look forward to meeting you face-to-face at which time I will respectfully "inspire" you until we both collapse, sweating and naked, in a public bathroom somewhere.


josh z. said...

Best drug blog for runners! Thanks for such a delightful and clever post.
-true believer #2030
Fuck, now I have to prove I am not a robot. Close one eye and stare until it makes sense... God may this be the hardest thing I do today.

J. said...

hahahahahaha, Kim Burns response.

Jesse said...

Seriously awesome, my good man. Things like this make me want to dust off my haggard-ass blog and rap with the homies about jesus...I mean, jogging and hating Working.

Glad we never met in Pinckney and randomly discovered one another on the internet. Tom Hanks will play you in the movie version of our tale.