PED excuses

#8 and #11 are outstanding. I hope those guys weren't punished, as clearly they are too awesome to be cheaters.

http://www.businessinsider.com/19-athletes-and-their-bizarre-explanations-for-failed-drug-tests-2012-3

"My life, my love and my laaaady..." Weekender 3/18/12

Do-do-do, do-do-do, dooooo-do-do-do-do-dooooo

Mon- AM: The Pitiless 8-Mile Loop of Pure, Unadulterated Mediocrity. 1:05:00

PM: Torres-Virgen with Quim. 1:25:00, 8 miles, 1000 ft. Ran the two miles downhill as fast as we possibly could, then held a low 6:oo pace for the 1.5 miles back to the apartment.

Tues- PM: Loop! 1:10:00

Wed- AM: Loop?!?! 1:00:00 (but broken into 2 mile w/u, 5 miles temp, 1 mile c/d)

PM: 5 miles to the university track. then 6x400, 400 rests (all between 87-92 sec). then 5 miles back home. 13 miles, 1:45:00 total.

Thus- loop. 1:10:00

Fri- loop. 1:00:00

Sat- St. Pat's is no excuse not to run. However, Friday night I didn't get home from the club until 6:30am. That's the first time in about 4 months I've allowed myself to be dragged to the fucking discoteca. I hate that shit so much. So regrettable.

Sun - loop, met Quim for torres-virgen trip. 15 miles, 2:15:00, 1000ft.

Totals: 77 miles, about 11 hours, 2,000 ft.

Another flat week. Glute is nearly back to healthy. Less than happy about all this pavement, but...whatever. I like running regardless of what surface it's on...unless the surface is living people. That would be so gnarly. Yeesh.

"Not a Post about Beer" Week Ending 3/11/12

A friend said all I post about is beer and being drunk, so I'm going to make a conscious effort to make less ado about a-brew. Ha. ha. hheehmmblehh...

Mon- The Infamous 8.25-Mile Flat Loop of Intense Introspection and Loathing. 1:00:00

Tues- Again, but 1:10:00.

Wed- 3 miles to the university track, 3 miles on the track (4x400, 400 rest, just to introduce myself), 5 miles home. =11 total, about 1:20:00

Thurs- AM: the loop. 1:05:00

PM: to the bridge and back, 4 miles, 30:00

Fri- Loop x 2, 15.5 miles, 2:05:00

Sat- torres and virgen, 8 miles, 1,000 ft. 1:05:00

Sun- the loop. 1:05:00, done as a progression from 9:00/mile down to 6:50/mile for the last mile.

71.5 miles. 9:15:00, 1,000 ft.

My troublesome right-ass has been less painful this week. I have been dutifully stretching it and telling it how great it looks in the mirror. The positive reinforcement has been good...for both of us.

I felt better and better as the week went on, including my trip up the big hill. So, I'm tentatively happy about my decision to stick to slow, flat jogging for a while. Plus, I realized how totally out of touch I've become with maintaining a steady pace for longer than a couple miles. I've gotten used to running up/down hills and going more by "feel." By "feel," I mean that I would run while cupping my balls and pinching my tits. Obviously, this technique will not fly during the Santiago marathon, as Chilean public-decency laws are both strict and their consequences brutal.

Tor des Geants? Whoa.

Here's a link to the route description. In brief: roughly 200 miles, 24,000m of total climbing. that's just under 79,000 ft. Even if you made this into a 100-miler, you'd still have more elevation than either Hardrock or UTMB. Some of the fastest finishing times are in the 80 hour range.

http://www.tordesgeants.it/tdg/index.php/eng/pagina/6/Description]

I'm not sure if I would even want to do something like this...or could, for that matter.

3 Weeks in One Post! Best Deal on the Blogs!

...And Each Week Shall Be Accompanied By A Fitting Song:

Week Ending 2/19/12 a.k.a. "What Smells Like Burning?"

Mon: My New Paved Loop! 8.25 miles. 1:00:00. flat.

Tues: same, but two loops. 16 miles. 2:00:00. flat.

Wed: bailed on the run after 1 mile. did me some weights.

Thurs: 10 beers

Fri: flying in an airplane.

Sat: 6 miles w/ Steph along the beach at Bahía Inglesa. 1:00:00

Sun: ditto.

Totally: 36 miles. 5 hours.

The turning point that lead to this two-week shit show was Wednesday. I headed out the door, extremely tired with a dull pain in my ass cheek and some significant pain in my foot. I got about a mile in and just thought "Dude, you didn't sneak under 2:07 in Beijing by getting injured. Play it smart."

Week Ending 2/26/12 a.k.a. "When Hairy Met Fatty"

before i start typing directly from my fluorescent pink and bejeweled Anne Frank running log, I just want you to actually listen to this song. why in the fuck is there a chopped n' screwed slo-motion version of this ridiculous song? i love you Internet. Don't never leave me. Also, I typed "fluorescent" correctly, without thinking, on the first try. Fuck yeah.

Mon: 0

Tues: 0

Wed: 0

Thurs: 0

Friday: 0

Sat: Super Mega Volcano Blow Out Death Race! 88 miles. 88,000 ft. of vertical!!!!

kidding. kidding. Saturday was 0.

Sun: 0

Totals for the week?

Week Ending 3/4/12 a.k.a. "How to Fit a Diaper Under Your Running Shorts, You Baby"

I really hate this band so much. I'm not sure why this pertains to the running week, except that my hatred for this band somehow sums up my attitude this week.

Mon: talca hills. 9 miles. 1:30:00. 1,500 ft. - This is the run where I realized that something was legit fucked up in my body. I felt super-charged in my head/lungs/blood/stuff but my legs were just destroyed after this run. I mean, hobbling around the next day. Pain and tightness in my glute, down to my calf. Did me some reading and Imma thinking that I have me some piriformis issues. I'm trying to stretch and do some exercises to fix it, but man...I'm fucking bummed about this one. It really hurts and it's fucking with my ability to even jog on flat ground.

Tues: AM: My New Paved Loop. 8.25. 1:05:00, flat.

PM: Same.

Wed: AM: Same.

PM: 6 miles. 50:00. flat.

Thurs: MNPL!

Fri: Off.

Sat: that fucking loop again.

Sun: one more time. egads.

Totals: 64.5 miles. 8:50:00. 1500ft.

Well, I just can't emphasize how surprised I am at the incredible pain that accompanied this return to running. Not just this piriformis bullshit, but my quads/calves/feet, just everything felt horrible. I honestly had no idea this would be the result of what I had hoped would be this refreshing break from running and I would come back, minus the fatigue I had built up and start some faster workouts leading up to the Santiago Marathon. Oh-fucking-well, Patrick. That shit is not happenin', brother.

I'm not sure what to make of all this, but I'm going to just keep up with the flat jogging assuming that the glute, et al. doesn't get any worse.

Maratón de Santiago

signed up for the marathon in Santiago, April 1st.

the date is especially fitting when you consider that only a fool would choose to run a marathon in city where the air is so bad it will make you hack up phlegm like you've been smoking cigarettes all day.

back to running this week. for all my drunken bluster, my reasons for taking a full week off included more than just laying around in a boozed-up stupor (i think). i decided to not worry about running while i went on vacation. plus, it gave a few nagging pains in the foot and glute a chance to quiet down. upon running again last monday i learned two things: 1) a week did very little for those pains and 2) coming back from a week off is worse than coming back from any race i've done thus far in my life.

The Atacama Desert is quite a place. If you ever get a chance to go, I'd recommend it.