Monday, August 9, 2010

new week, new life...? no...nope.

monday 8/2/10 - went to wildwood, ran 9 miles. am still very much in love with the x-talon 212's. really ran fast, too. surprisingly busy on the trails, enjoyed passing people and using other runners as markers. some days i run completely zen, no desire to pass or worry about my pace in relation to someone else's...other days i am completely driven by the need to not only pass other runners as though they are competition...but to pass them ruthlessly. which is exhausting. because i'm not that fast.

tues. 8/3/10- haven't run as of this post. had more conversation with my parents regarding drug problem. things have really hit the fan. i have given over my online banking information, credit cards, etc. so that they can monitor my money. while i know that i am done with oxycontin, i understand that i can't exactly "come clean" to my family and then not allow them to demand some assurances that i am sticking to my word...otherwise, what did i accomplish other than causing them undue stress and worry? so...i am submitting to their requests and answering all questions honestly and openly. it has been the hardest thing i have ever done. this is just an awful chapter in my life. perhaps the worst to date.

on a happier note: it's gabbo's 21st b-day today. she's in pittsburgh fitting in sublimely with native pittsburgers (that is, getting drunk). hopefully she'll have enough ethanol left in her boozemobile to celebrate again on friday when she gets home.

wed. 8/4/10- AM- 6 ish miles around tuna beach. really did not feel this one. withdrawals are unpleasant. flu-ish aches, diarrhea, exhaustion, lack-of-will-to-live...and it only costs $4000 dollars folks! can't you smell a deal when it's slithering beneath your nose? maybe i'll drum up enough moxie to run again this evening. i'll keep you, dear reader, duly posted. by "duly posted," i mean screaming into the digital void. ...yodeling, perhaps, is more accurate. i don't scream, ever. i yodel. i need to go to work.

PM- went to the gym to do some incline stuff on the treadmill. i could only muster about 25 minutes. i just felt too wiped out in every sense. ...i'm glad i put in the workout though. i'm always glad i put in a workout...even if its the shortest workout i've done in years. had an entire pizza and leftover enchiladas for dinner...then lots of beer, appetizers at the bar, then i had four pieces of toast with butter as a pre-bed snack.

thurs. 8/5/10 -AM s. otter creek out n' back: 7 miles. again, felt pretty questionable on the way out, but still managed a negative split on the way back. last night i went to bed at 11:30pm, today awoke at 4:30am...went running and was back in time to watch a 9-on-the-beauty scale sun rise while taking a bath in the lake. very "high on life" sort of morning, i think. ate toast with raw honey before the run, giant cheddar and ketchup omelette afterwards...followed by 4 pieces of zucchini bread with butter and coconut oil extract. holy shit. this combination of running-induced hunger and stress-eating is going to be the awesome-feelingness of me.

PM- tuna beach. 6 ish? very very hot. felt rough still. i have to say though, i think today was a turning point in the withdrawal process. i actually had a little bit of energy at work, i sang to katie perry (well) while driving and considered a chopped/screwed acoustic cover of La Roux. Then i fantasized (deeply) about fronting (in spandex) a duo bar band that only plays covers of female pop-stars...R n' B and dance stuff only i.e. Donna Summers, Madonna, C&C Music Factory up to Gaga, Katy Perry, et al. The funny thing is: that band would fucking SLAY in michigan/ohio...not get dragged behind a Ford F-250. What does that say about the state of affairs in the worlds of homosexuality and popular music? Strides? Pride? Or is it just that right now, everyone sort of has a hard-on/wide-on for shitty synth-pop and, by default, that means we all dip our toesy's into the gay pond? TOTAL TODAY: 13 miles. luck be a lady-boy, tonight.

See, i'm almost all better!

FRIDAY- i ain't run shit. say it wit me now: LA-saaaaaaaannGGAAA! Gabby's back!

Sat. - 23 miles. went to oak openings in swanton, oh for the first time. it's the largest of toledo's metropark areas and i now realize also has the best trails. stupid me for waiting to visit, but's like 45 minutes from here! anyway, today's run was good-bad...but not evil. i had set out to run 30 miles and get a better feel for my pace at the Dances with Dirt 50 miler. however, i was so psyched about the trails, the weather, gabbo, ross, my pain-free hip, etc. that i ran the first hour or so in frenzy, not finding the trail i had planned to stick with and just running like a chicken with its head cut off at about 7:00min/mile...when i had told myself i was going to aim for an 8:30-9:00 pace. so i had busted loose too fast, but i did finally find the big loop trail i was looking for...and hit it right at its most technical and crazy, so THEN i really stepped it up and ran like a sumbitch. at times there was no trail, it dipped almost straight down and then straight up at times with roots and rocks as ladder rungs, then it would tilt crazily along the edge of the river bank so you'd have to run scrambling at an angle to not slide down into the scum-water. by the time i finally made a loop and regrouped at the van to get more water and sugargoop, i sort of knew i might be in trouble. i started the second loop with my friend ross following me on his mountain bike. ross did a great job with all of the obstacles and felled logs blocking his path, while i (on the other hand) had begun to slowly slacken my pace until i was just about out of gas. at mile 18, i sat on the edge of a bridge for a moment, checked out a map with ross and then tried to hit it again, at mile 21 or so, i started walking...i had about 8 miles left and i knew it would be that really nutty hard section again to boot...and gabbo had twisted her ankle...and the afternoon was slipping into evening...and...and...well i threw in the towel and ran the roads back to the van and called it at 23.25 miles. my overall pace was 9:00, but i know that if i take out the walking/debating portion i was closer to my original goal of 8:30/ a few lessons learned:
-slow down, asshole.
-stop running everyday, focus on weekend long runs. you can't hang.
-"don't drink beer the night before" from ross. although i sincerely doubt i'll follow that one because of...
-get some sleep before the run. without alcohol how can i do this? i can't remember.

even though i didn't meet my goal, i still learned quite a bit about where my fitness level is at right now and what i need to do to change my training routine before the race in sept. i got to try out my diet plan for the race, which i'm happy with: GU gels, S! caps and water. no stomach problems. no major pain issues anywhere. i'm anticipating being very much recovered all in all i'm counting the day as a success. however, i am still a pussy.

i'm definitely going back to oak openings next weekend and i will be counting it as a rematch.

sunday - off. barefoot walk through wildwood with gabbo. went to bed insanely early. felt very, um, sedate.

WEEK: 54 miles

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