Finally a new shoe sponsor

After 31 years of being overlooked by shoe companies, one finally pulled its shoe-making head out of its shoe-making ass. I'm happy to announce my 2014-15 racing will be completely funded by Cole Haan.

http://www.zerogrand.com/

Just gotta work off this udder-like beer gut and I'll be all set to rip. Milk me, True Believer, and I'll milk you right back.

Love,
Cow Patty.

Friend Lora is harder than nails.

Toenails that is...

http://theaccidentalrunners.blogspot.com/2014/07/how-to-remove-your-toenails-like-boss.html

Ha-cha-cha-chaaaa...