Tuesday, December 17, 2013

VUT 64k Race Recap

Good grief. I don't feel especially creative this morning, but I've waited long enough to jot down some damn thing about the Vulcano Ultra Trail. Seeing as the Internet has long since fried my brain and whittled down my attention span to about 2 seconds...let's do an unordered list of random thoughts/sentence fragments:

-Had to finish an ultra in 2013, finished Vulcano Ultra Trail. Wonderful.
-Took longer than my worst 50 miler to go 40 miles.
-Was not fit, but did not realize the depths of unfitness in which I currently dwell
-Perhaps the best race in Chile in terms of location, difficulty, organization
-In thinking about the TNF 80k DNF that I had in October and without trying to make any broad generalizations for/against DNFing...I will say that, for me, that DNF really fucked up the ebb and flow of running for me. I should have just hiked the fucker to the end and then rested, got back to running like normal after a race. Lesson learned.
-Such a good weekend. Puerto Varas is awesome.
-Every race should have an official post-race after-party at a bar.
-Misery loves company. And beards. Lesson re-learned when I was contemplating dropping out and Canadian beard-master Jason Wright came up the trail. I told him I felt like shit and wanted to drop and he said "Screw that. Let's grind this out." Thanks, dude. Hopefully I returned the favor later in the race when his legs/hips started cramping so badly that he couldn't reach his shoe laces to tie them. He said "I might be done at this point." to which I replied, using all of my creativity and inspiration-giving ability: "Nah." We finished together in bromantic triumph. His girlfriend Emily finished just behind us and placed 3rd overall for the ladies. Powerful.

Photos!


The current bossjogg line-up. L to R: Matias, Bear Gay, Diego, Daniel, Moises, Max


The start of the race was a few k's of flat sandy trail, heading towards the volcano. A few of the bossjogging boys and I ran together for a bit, but then Max and I moved up towards the lead group, where Moises was already putting in a bid for a podium finish. Everyone went hard as shit in the beginning and, awesomely, most of those guys kept hammering for the rest of the day.


Sunrise on the way up. The first part of the volcano was covered in the softest moss/dirt stuff I have ever run on. It was like jogging up a giant, firm mattress. It was incredible. I wanted to lay down and sleep on it so badly. Speaking of which, I only sleep about 4 hours a night now. Edison used to do that, right? 


Haggard. 


Post-race party.


Feelin' the vibe.

Daniel's report. 3rd place in the 30k.
Max's report. 5th place in 60k.
Moises's report. 12th in 60k. (He came through halfway in 3rd, going strong, but had some wicked cramping. Cramping was a theme from this race. Volcano-induced, clearly.)

Even if you ain't read Spanish, the pics are nice for the lookin'.

This morning I signed up for the reborn Desafío de Senderos de los Volcanes next February (They didn't put on the race in 2013). I did this race in 2012 with my buddy Quim from Spain. Here's the report from two years ago. It's weird to look back even just two years and see how I used to give weekly training updates. Was that interesting? Maybe I should do that again?

It's cool to think that it'll be my 3rd volcano-themed race. 

It's cool to think that I've lived here for over 2.5 years. The idea of returning to the States next year is actually starting to scare the hell out of me. I hadn't anticipated that, but...


If you can watch that without feeling nauseous, you're clearly ready for more Vo2-max workouts.

That's it for now.







Sunday, November 24, 2013

Kim Kar400yardDashian's Volcanoes' Milk


How am I doing right now?

At this point, Truest Believerest, we both know that you can tell how I'm doing just by casting a wandering eye at the freakish mishmash of words, nonsense, and apos'trop'he's thrusting up from the title of this post. A sorry excuse for writing! Who is this asshole? Or whose asshole is this? Both viable questions and they will be answered in dude time.  

Let's be honest. There's no way I can wrestle this post safely back into the realm of goodness, sanity, and gluten-free/verbiage-free elocution. But, I mean, Jesus, if your diet isn't verbiage free by now, how are you even still LIVING, LET ALONE JOGGING? 

I mean Jesus! But sometimes you mean, too! COMMAS! 

After the 50-miler DNF, I felt lost. Depressed. Confused. Horny. Introspective. Dangerous bedfellows, to be sure. The following weekend I hoped I could gain some sort of clarity by at least finishing a race that I started. So I went with a 5K (better safe than sorry!). In all denim, for whatever reason. 18:41 (the denim adds at least 1:30 to your 5K, FYI). 


But after 3.1 miles of denim-induced chafing, then applying lotion to chafed areas, and then preemptively applying lotion to certain other areas multiple times (and at high velocity), I was still not sure what I was supposed to do with my running life. Sometimes, though, upon reaching an impasse life suddenly presents you with a sign. For me, this sign came in the form of a never-refrigerated, cardboard box full of life-affirming whole milk.


I was udderly speechless. The answer was so obvious to me now! Register for THE VULCANO ULTRA TRAIL 60K!   Perhaps a bit of milchmädchenrechnung? Hahaha, where the fuck did some German come from? I can't even speak that word. LOOK AT THAT THING! HOLY MOLY! Hahaha, fuck it. I'm drunk.

But I dye grass. I'm fully psyched beyond stoke about this race. Just look where it's gonna be at, FOOLZ$!


We goan go round dat muthafuckkka!!! WOO!

Given the nature of the course and the powerful competition I will face, one thing is clear: I'm going to need more (a Whole lot more) rigorous physical conditioning. I'm going to need to fill my soul and body appropriately, that is to say, with mountains, milk, and some powerful/focused "ego"-stroking.

CUE THE MUSIC!


Thanks, Kanye, you coked-out nutcase. Your timing could not have been better. Also, to be accurate: Daniel's racing the 30K option and I don't know what Matias is up to. Moises and Max are in the 60K, though. So that'll be rad.

But despite some halfway decent training and tons of soul-st(r)oking, I really wanted some science to back me up and confirm: Yes, Patty-boy, you're on the right track. So, I did what any good runner would do and entered a bunch of data into Jack Daniels' new Strava app for my iPhone...check out where I'm at!


Heh heh heh. I think I jumped the goddamn shark with that one, True-Blue Believer-You. If you didn't think I was unbalanced before, I'm sure you do now! (Check out this transition) And speaking of unbalanced: Why the fuck do I always fall on the same side of my body? My left knee is seriously getting pissed off with me. Look at this:


Starting at the righthand side of the photo: 1) Fresh pink scarring/scabbing/swelling from last weekend. 2) Old scar just below knee cap. 3) Darker scarring from fall in June. 4) Some cuts from thorns, I think. Also, my left hand is always fucked up with cuts, scraps, little rocks stuck in the skin, etc.

Weird right? I mean, I always-always fall on my left side. I also tend to develop heel/Achilles problems on that leg, but I tend to get hip/hamstring problems in my right leg. Well...I think it's pretty clear that I now have some imbalances that are both mental AND physical. HOORAY!

Ok, I'm done. That's all I've got for you, dear. If you're up top, I hope your fall/winter is OKEEDOKEE and if you're down here, I already know that your spring/summer is awesome because HOLY SHIT IT HAS BEEN HOT AS FUCK LATELY! I love it. Love it.

As always, take what I say with a grain of salt, True Believer. And a never-refrigerated cardboard box full of whole milk.

I love you! 

Monday, November 11, 2013

The next-best timed sport.

Sorry for the several posts that are just links. I'll try to actually write something in the next week or so. Who am I talking to?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XIaovi1JWyY#t=73

Love,
Future champion of Competitive Plane Disembarking.

GODDAMN IT! SOMEONE ALREADY SNAPPED UP www.iPlaneDisembarkFast.com !!!

adios, retirement.


Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Halloween Speed Intervals

Give'em all of your Hell, True Believer. It's Halloween. It's all you can do.