Exercise.

"if humans could fly, we would consider it exercise and never do it."

fly on, you winged babies. fly on.

Finally a new shoe sponsor

After 31 years of being overlooked by shoe companies, one finally pulled its shoe-making head out of its shoe-making ass. I'm happy to announce my 2014-15 racing will be completely funded by Cole Haan.

http://www.zerogrand.com/

Just gotta work off this udder-like beer gut and I'll be all set to rip. Milk me, True Believer, and I'll milk you right back.

Love,
Cow Patty.

Friend Lora is harder than nails.

Toenails that is...

http://theaccidentalrunners.blogspot.com/2014/07/how-to-remove-your-toenails-like-boss.html

Ha-cha-cha-chaaaa...

Uncultured Shock

"You can't change the night into day,
And you can't take the milk,
from the milky way.
You can't take the sun from the sky,
And you can't put the light,
in Ray Charles eyes."



But you can have a great day today, True Believer. And I'll see you back here in just a sec.